How to know you're up before you wake up

This getting up early thing is getting old. Every day, starting at about 3:00 a.m., I wake up, squint at the glowing red numbers on the alarm clock, tell myself it's too early and try to go back to sleep, doze for a little while, then check the clock again. Repeat every 10 minutes until 4:00, then give up and get moving. Slowly. Verrryyy sllloowwwlly

I'm not now, nor have I ever been a morning person. Here are a some of the clues that tell me that I'm up before I actually wake up:

I poured beer into my coffee. A mistake, but perhaps an unconscious indicator of attitude.

I garnished my son's baloney sandwich with chocolate syrup instead of mayonnaise. He was kind enough to point this out before I finished.

Instead of sprinkling salt on the eggs, I methodically removed the cap from the salt shaker and poured all the salt in, then stood there staring at the pile of salt in the bowl, wondering why I did that.

This one has happened multiple times: I made the coffee without putting coffee in. My husband gently brought this to my attention. Sheesh! Next thing you know, he'll want food in his dinner.

There are other examples; new ones every day, in fact. Maybe all this PD stuff is actually lack of sleep.

Well, I guess I'd better go make the coffee. I think I'll put coffee in it this time.

Still kicking

I'm still hanging in there; kind of walking around in a dark cloud, grieving over the loss of our dog, but turning my face back towards the sun slowly but surely.

It's amazing to me how much the PD symptoms are amplified by stress, either physical or emotional. I can barely type right now; the muscles in my arms, wrists and hands are so rigid. Maybe it's not that way for everyone, though. Lord knows, this disease works differently for every patient.

There's been a lot of interesting Parkinson's developments in the news recently; genetic treatments, laser treatments, studies about possible causes. It's hard for me to get too excited about any of it right now. Give me a cure, then we'll talk.

I find it interesting that at least one study is linking Parkinson's to vitamin D deficiency. I was diagnosed as vitamin D deficient in May. Oral supplements have fixed that, though. I have also been deficient in vitamin B12 and iron on some occasions, and have had higher iron levels than normal on others. This is a bit of a concern for me, as I carry not one, but TWO copies of one of the milder genes for hemachromatosis (iron overload).

I know that in order to find a cure, we need to find a cause, but sometimes it's frustrating just to be handed pieces of the puzzle, when there are no edge pieces and they're all the same color.

Know what I mean?

Just a dog....

Just a Dog

He’s just a dog, some people say.

Why cry because he’s passed away?

He has no soul, no human spark,

No gift of speech, just a growl and bark.

But when we’re sick or simply sad,

Who worries that we’re feeling bad?

It’s Just-a-dog with big brown eyes,

Who tries to help when someone cries.

And who can always make us smile,

Though sometimes it can take a while?

It’s Just-a-dog who wants to play,

He can always chase our cares away.

Now that Just-a-dog is gone,

Our world somehow just seems wrong,

I’m Just-a-person now again,

Because Just-a-dog was our best friend.

Heartbroken

Yesterday, we lost our beloved dog, Bosco. I feel sick and empty. Bosco was a part of our family for 13 years. He and our son grew up together; I can't believe he's gone.