There is a new paradigm in my life. Wait; I hate the word "paradigm"!! O.k.; I have a new way of looking at things. I used to think "I'm exhausted; I can't go to (name of event)". Now, I think "I'm going to be exhausted anyway, so I might as well have fun in the meanwhile". It seems like a small shift in attitude, but it actually adds up to a major shift. What it means is that I don't expect to feel perfect; I don't expect to feel "well". I just expect to feel well enough to do whatever the activity in question is.
Case in point: yesterday, my husband and I our son and our son's girlfriend went up to San Francisco to celebrate my brother's birthday. We went to the King Tut exhibit at the new DeYoung museum. Lots of walking, and the exhibit was very crowded and very dimly lit. All conditions that are difficult for me. Well, guess what? I had a great time anyway! The exhibit was breath-takingly beautiful, and it was great spending time with my brother and his wife. I've missed them so much! My sister-in-law, KC has a lot of health problems, and so we don't get to see them very much, even though they only live about an hour away.
I actually like the feeling of pushing my body towards its limit of endurance; it feels good to push the envelope. I just have to be a little careful, otherwise I pay for it. Recently, I've been having some "freezing" problems, and it gets worse as I get more tired. I've fallen a couple of times, and it's a very frightening thing. It's like a nightmare; I trip over something, and I can't recover. It feels like I'm wrapped up in a blanket or something; I can't stop myself from falling. So, I have to learn to avoid that, but still do what I want to do.
YOU DON'T OWN ME, PARKINSON'S!! I'M GOING TO HAVE FUN ANYWAY!!!!