Because of the DBS implant, i don't often have really bad symptoms, but sometimes...you remember that old Mickey Mouse cartoon where Mickey and Donald and Goofy end up in a giant's castle and Goofy falls into the Jello on the dinner table? It was so funny to watch him struggle to get out of the gelatin, moving so slowly and getting very frustrated. Well, that's what Parkinson's feels like to me sometimes. Not so funny. I try to walk faster and I simply can't. I try to unscrew a cap from a bottle or jar and I move so slowly! And then there's my face. Mom always used to say "don't make faces; what if your face froze that way?" What if, indeed... I feel myself sitting there with an idiotic look on my face, usually an entirely inappropriate look, and it's very hard to change expressions. I'm sure people must think I'm either a sour old lady, or a harmless, grinning idiot. My voice is getting softer, my speech slurs like I've had one too many martinis. I have too much saliva in my mouth, so when someone asks me a question, sometimes all that comes out is a bubble. The fatigue is overwhelming, even if the other symptoms are under control. Our house is deteriorating around us, i can't do more than about half an hour of housework at time, and since I'm still working full time, I'm usually not up for even that when we get home.
I know that I'm very lucky; the DBS is working like magic for me, and I shouldn't complain. I'm just getting a little tired of the whole thing. I need a cure.
If this is Parkinson's Disease, he can have it back...
14 comments:
Hi Marian,
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