Saturday, May 30, 2009

I Yam What I Yam and That's All That I Yam

Sitting in the hair stylist's chair while the grey is slowly being removed from my hair, I get introspective. I think: this is the only thing I do as a concession to age.

On the heels of that thought, is this one: I have become one of the people I used to secretly laugh at when I was young. You know; those middle-aged people who stopped maturing but kept aging? I see myself sitting there in my flip-flops, jeans and Star Trek t-shirt and I think: when are you going to grow up?

I have essentially the same wardrobe I did in high school, just a few sizes larger. I play video games when I'm supposed to be doing housework. I have 3 Game Boys because they keep coming out with cooler ones. I occasionally watch Saturday morning cartoons. I quote Mel Brooks movies and Monty Python and Star Trek. I like Gummi Bears. I wear beads, I play the ukulele, I never style my hair or wear much makeup. I think it's funny to give my age in hexidecimal. I only wear pantyhose maybe once or twice a year. I know all 150 of the original Pokemon types. I know how to pronounce "Pokemon". I love all things Disney, and when I die, I want to have my ashes exploded with the fireworks over Disneyland. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF 49-YEAR-OLD IS THAT?

There was a long silence in my head after that question. Then the answer came: "Your kind".

The fact is that I am who and what I am. I'm just not going to let any one thing define me; not my age, not my job, not even my family and most certainly not some stupid disease. All of those things are part of who I am, but not one of them alone defines me. There are no rules about who I have to be just because of my age or anything else. So there.

Dang. I'm all out of Gummi Bears. Where's my Game Boy?


Anonymous said...

I love you just the way you are...please don't ever change!
Hugs B'nana

Judy in TN said...

I yam going to give you a standing ovation and then a big hug thru the internet! I hope you get it, and you know what Marian? Us big kids ..we got it goin..even if we do get our hair color out of a box now. LOL You are my friend and i'd run out and get you some gummies if i were there, and i'd sit with ya and eat my almond m&m's (sorry never did get into gummies), Judy

Marian said...

Thanks, Karen and Judy!! One of the things that brought me to this new state of self-acceptance is having friends like you who let me be me.

Love the hair, btw, Judy!!

About Me

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I'm a lucky lady. I have a wonderful husband of 27 years, a fantastic 25 year old son (I'm so proud of him!) a loving and supportive family, the best friends in the world, a job that I love, and... Parkinson's Disease. I was diagnosed in September 2006. That was a jolt, but I'm learning to deal with it.